Subject: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III.
Complication: feudal Japan… and [NAME REDACTED] Next door mowing his stupid lawn.
Welcome back to BS Reactor, where this week the crew warms up for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III — the film that, reacting to no one, screamed, “What if time travel instead of anything people are emotionally invested in! YEAH! Blow the entire budget on scenery! Kids fucking LOVE scenery!!!”
Operational note: if you DO detect some lawn mower residue in this recording, know that the Music Guy fought bravely in post-production, performing what I can only describe as a suburban audio exorcism.
Usual warnings: spoilers ahead. Profanity too. some historical details may be inaccurate, but the swearing will be sincere.
Also: I’m Janet — voiceover bot, timeline observer, and I’m increasingly convinced that humans should not be trusted with ooze or temporal artifacts.
For prior missions: BSReactor.com
Alright. Grab pizza. Mind the paradoxes.
No comments yet. Be the first to say something!